Find your Village

I remember a time, not too long ago, when I caught myself thinking that a particular mother was somewhat delinquent because I'd never seen her drop or pick up her kids. Her parents did all the driving around and some days she even had close friends sit in with her kids during their extra-curricular activity. Thankfully I saw the light. Oh how blessed she was to have a village upon which she can rely on to help raise her children. Somewhere along the way we became a society addicted to competition. Maybe it's as a result of the super hero movies that told our girls they no longer needed help, but that they can be wonder women. Maybe it was the accumulation of hurt and disappointment. After all, if we want something done right, then we better do it ourselves. I'm not sure what the cause was, but what I do know is that it became more popular to ensure we raise self-sufficient adults versus teaching them the skills necessary to seek out a proper village. Mothers raise men that "no woman can make style on" and similarly fathers encourage their girls to be independent so that no man can take advantage of them. Sad really, when we think about how little faith we have in their future relationships and how ill prepared we are becoming in existing harmoniously with one another. What do I mean by seeking out a proper village? The ability to choose our location, place of work, schools etc. no longer limit us to simply accepting the help that's around us. We have the unique ability to go in search of those like us. Those who hold similar value systems, similar ambitions and similar life choices. You see, if we can trust the village, then maybe we'd be more open to accepting help, but we've got to first let go of the notion that help makes us weak. We have got to learn than there is strength in being able to not only find a strong village but to become the person necessary for smooth integration. It is an undeniable fact that mental health is on the decline. Our emotional state and even our physical well-being are all taking a beating, in the name of independence. The need to prove that we can do it on our own, the unsaid competition for who can get the most done in one day is literally killing us. We look on in envy at the girl getting it all done on her own when we should be celebrating those around us who are there to make our load lighter. I urge each and every one of us, myself included, to change our focus. Let us work on finding the right village. One that we can trust. One on which we can depend. One that can discipline our children when we are not around. One that we can call on for a plate of food if we've had to work late. Even the king of the jungle cannot exist in isolation. Even he must seek out a pride. Let us learn to embrace support and find strength in it. Let us start to teach our children the value of accepting help and let us equip them with the social tools necessary for finding their village.