I accidentally abused my daughter
If you follow me you'd know that I'm a single mom that produces a TV show, runs a Coaching Academy, Mentors Single Moms and Young Girls, Writes and Home Schools.
So, understandably, I have huge expectations of my 6 year old daughter, Jess.
For the most part that has resulted in her being very mature and responsible but one day while feeling my patience grow thin I realized that I may actually be crushing her spirit and abusing her (by the technical standards).
Was I in fact expecting more from her than her age required me to? Was I forcing her to grow up faster than she should?
Children must be allowed their childhood and adults must take time to understand what are age appropriate chores and what are the appropriate standards that must be expected from those chores.
Getting upset (even if mildly so) for the bed not being made neatly will not help them want to do it again nor will they feel empowered or capable.
Always keep in mind that their hands are tinier than ours. They are still developing their fine motor skills and their ability to process a situation will not be as thorough as ours.
I know it's hard because we just want help and they're right there. And for goodness sake....it's so simple.
But is it really that simple? To them at least?
If your engineer husband came home and watched you like you were slow because he asked you to help him out at work and you were struggling with basic mechanics, how would you feel?
Or if you signed up to do a cooking class (for this example pretend you've never cooked) and the teacher said...dude it's just a rou. It's not that hard, look how easily I can do it. I know I'd be infuriated because she's asking me to do something that she's spent years mastering.
This is the same principle with children.
Their practice have been limited to just a handful of years. What you've done ten thousand times, they've not even done a hundred.
So use chores to teach responsibility and help them learn the skills. Don't look at them doing chores as helping you out. Shifting your perspective will save you the headache and save them the abuse.
They will get there eventually and then you'd be able to kick back and relax a bit. Hold on to that the next time you feel super exhausted and ready to lose it because they just can't make the bed the way you want.
