There's no room for your ego in parenting
Have you ever had your kid ignore your advice and think it silly, only to willingly accept the exact advice from someone else?
Did it drive you insane or even make you feel a bit unloved?
Well that happened to me last Saturday. In fact, it happens all the time.
Jess has moved into a big girl gymnastics class and all the coaches are very aware that our goal is to be in the Summer Olympics 2028, so we expect commitment to the goal from all parties involved.
Well we got what we asked for.
The new class was hard and left Jess feeling sore, exhausted and a bit untalented.
I hugged her and explained that things are only hard when they are new and we must constantly learn new things if we want to improve. I explained to her that we could stay where we are and not grow and life would be much easier but it would also be filled with regret. I asked her how she'd feel if in 2028 she saw someone else at the Olympics and she without hesitation admitted that she'd feel rotten.
Personally I thought I was doing a stellar job and my advice was sound but the thing about us mothers is that we're supposed to say comforting things and our children know it.
Not to mention Jesus Christ himself said "a prophet is not welcomed in his own home town." So why would you think that our kids care about what we have to say?
How then can we have any control over them?
First of all, I exaggerate slightly.
Most of what we say will be lodged somewhere even if they do not openly show it but more than that...
Egos have no place in parenting and I've learnt that it doesn't matter if she hears it from me or from the post man. Once the advice is sound.
So I can either throw a tantrum and let my ego get in the way or I can put on my big girl panties and manipulate the situation in such a way that the people to whom she looks up are strategically placed in her vision.
This is where your network is key and her circle is "keyer."
I am blessed to have interviewed the best of the best and I have always made it a point to surround myself with people from whom I can learn and grow.
In the end, she only believed me when I picked up the phone and had double Olympic medal winner Keshorn Walcott confirm what I'd previously said.
So what if I said the exact same thing he said. Would I have loved to point out that I said the same thing he did? Of course I would, but parenting is not where I get my validation and I know she loves me even if she doesn't take my advice.
