How we help our kids have sex without knowing it
There is an age old label placed on anyone, in Trinidad and Tobago, celebrating a birthday in November – “Carnival baby.” Yet, we tip toe around the fact that exposing our children to all things carnival is in fact adding to their sexual curiosity and ever increasing inability to remain in a committed, monogamous relationship.
I have often watched mothers cry down US reality shows that encourage young children to sing rap, and celebrate young children dancing inappropriately to popular hip hop music, yet we allow our children to prance around all month in the name of culture.
I am in no way crying down our culture. Let me be clear. US culture is far worse and I make no apologies for saying we go from bad to worse when we trade in the sex culture of February for an imported non-culture the other 11 months of the year.
It's popular now to read all the books that preach words as being powerful yet it has not dawned on parents that we are being hypocritical and convenient in how we apply such self-help tips.
If words are in fact powerful, and I think they are, then why on earth are we allowing our children to memorize songs with lyrics such as “do I make you feel like cheating” or “ah wotless and I doh really care less.”
I will be the first to admit that it is quite challenging to remove my daughter from all things sexual, but I certainly will not be naïve to think that on one hand having her repeat “I am strong, I am kind and I am a winner” will have a positive effect and then on the other hand think that walking around singing “I’m rotten to the core,” will have none.
A pet peeve of mine is reading articles that dish out lectures and state the problem without offering any real solution, so in attempt to curb the hypocrisy I will end with the uncomfortable solution.
Be bold and dare to remove your children from all things sex. Allow your children to stand in confidence away from the crowd.
If you allow them to watch all the shows deemed age appropriate on Disney Channel please give your own disclaimers. Explain to them that these are not your standards and the shows are merely for entertainment, NOT TO BE USED AS EXAMPLES. These shows tell young minds that it is okay to constantly think about boys, they display kissing in a casual manner at a young age, they constantly portray girls as helpless princesses that need a prince to save them, and if you look closely you would see from where the tantrums and rude behaviour stems.
Please be around when media is being fed into your child’s mind and have a closed mind to what is allowed into your home. You may even want to consider changing the channel during ads.
Remember - just like salt and candy. Once a child is even mildly exposed to sex, their bodies develop the taste for it and will seek it out.
Encouraging arts and craft, lego, dolls and puzzle building are all activities that do not require your presence, so if you were to be really honest with yourself, media is not the only option for “baby sitting.”
As I close let me leave you with the very powerful quote by an unknown author – “No one said it’d be easy, they just promised it’d be worth it.”
