Selfish Moms Raise Happier Kids.
I am in no way ashamed to say that I feed myself first ALWAYS and ALWAYS put my needs before my daughter's.
Call it selfish, in fact call it what you want. I call it self love and self care.
Years ago a friend of mine came home from college on summer vacation and announced that he'd gotten a girl pregnant. His plans did not sit well with me at the time. It did not seem like the best interest of the child was being considered.
His response to me turned out to be words by which I have lived ever since.
"If I am not happy, then I cannot make anyone else around me happy."
Simple, yet profound words.
Two weeks ago I was privileged to have captured on video, stories of Post Partum Depression and I could not help but notice that each story started with feelings of guilt and failure. Mothers that had put their health and well being last. They'd sacrificed themselves to please society, their families and their babies. What no one around seemed to have told them was that it's not only acceptable to take care of themselves, but it was in fact crucial.
I call this the proverbial oxygen mask.
On an airplane we are advised to place the mask on ourselves first then help others and it's really very simple and very logical. If you're dead then you can't help anyone else.
This leads me to why I border selfishness.
I not only want to ensure my survival, I want to ensure my bliss, my peace, a state of complete happiness and tip top shape. If I am only surviving then I will never be able to raise a child that reaches her tip top state of happiness.
Our children feed from us. Not only do they draw nutrients from our milk. They draw our emotions, our state of well being and they draw our spirit.
So ditch the guilt and put on your black dress. If you're like me - empty wallet, baby sitter less and feel fat in your black dress. Then grab your pj's tuck the kids into bed. Ignore the dishes for one night. Better yet, feed them sandwiches on a napkin so there'd be no dishes. Put your feet up and have urself a date night. A date night with yourself even. You deserve just one night a week to refresh, rejuvenate and top up.
Oh, BTW. If you don't believe me, this month on CARE, we will be bringing in a therapist to tell you exactly why Selfish Moms Raise Happier Kids.
